Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life or anything else that she finds amusing.
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport. She has written
for Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Tips on Doing Housework...
Ever since the beginning of history, it has been
the woman's job to sweep
the cave, and dust the stalagmites. While men have come a
long way in
recent times, statistics say that housework is still mainly the
the women. To enlighten you on how this is best
developed a list of tips:
1. Start in the kitchen and do wet cleaning first.
Wipe counter tops with warm water and cleaner with a small amount of grease solvent.
Wipe out microwave oven. Look in refrigerator. Ugh! Wipe off
front of shelves and leave refrigerator for next time.
Ditto on oven.
2. Now that kitchen is spotless, mop the kitchen floor.
Lemon ammonia is nice and does not leave a soap film. I meant,
put a small amount of ammonia the in mop water. Cough!
Open a door or window and let fumes out! Be careful, as
wet floors are slickkkkkkk…
3. While you are wet anyhow, clean the tile floors in the
bathroom. Use bathroom cleaner to clean fixtures and any tile. The bathroom is
the worst part of cleaning. Get it over with. Leave shower
till later. Replace dirty towels and it will make a world of difference.
4. Let's do the living area or den next. All we need
to do is dust with a soft, treated cloth or duster. Kerchoo! Remember to
dust lampshades, tops of doors, and accessories. Kerchoo!
We do not need to polish furniture often as it causes wax build
up. It takes about an hour for the dust to settle after
5. Remove sheets from beds and put in washer. Hang up
clothes and put away shoes. Don't worry about closets.
Out of sight, out of mind. Also, try not to look under
bed. If you see dust bunnies, it could become a major
6. Use a laundry basket to pick up scattered toys or other
items that are out of place throughout the house, and then return the items to
the appropriate room. We will hide them for now,
however, and do this later since we are starting to become
7. Run vacuum before you collapse entirely. Yes, you
are tired, but you have to run the vacuum! How can you clean a house unless
you vacuum? Next time we will do that first. But see
how much better things look afterwards?
8. Put sheets and towels in dryer and take a break.
You deserve it after all you've done. Fix a cold drink or a cup of coffee.
Relax. Look out the window. Read a newspaper. Do not get on the computer!
9. I told you not to get on the computer! Now, look
what time it is and you are not half done! Get sheets out of dryer and make up
beds. Hurry up! Resist the temptation to take a nap.
You can't be that tired! All you did all day was a little
10. Use window cleaner to wipe mirrors, TV screens, glass shower
doors, and other glass surfaces. Forget windows till
another time. You shouldn't have wasted so much time on
11. We forgot to vacuum under the furniture cushions.
Maybe no one will notice. Who goes around looking under
cushions anyhow? We are just doing a go-over, not
heavy-duty stuff. Don’t get obsessive-compulsive on me.
12. Empty trash and put away cleaning supplies. Use air
spray or potpourri so house will smell fresh. Now take a shower
and put on fresh clothes. Uh, oh, sound asleep sitting at the
computer. You didn't even take a shower!
In addition to the modern women, this method works equally well
for modern men who are bachelors or men who want to prove that
they are no longer Neanderthals. What works even better is
dividing the work 50/50 or hiring a cleaning service and going
out for lunch.
Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219